Ad hoc random table generation for Carcosa Wacky Races

Here’s my method for generating a random table I should’ve anticipated but didn’t, in 10 minutes or less:

Drive the kids to school, muttering to myself like a madman. Listen to whatever’s on the radio, ask them baffling questions. Then try to hook their baffling answers back to Carcosa, CoC, Vance or the Moomins.*

Thus:
What you get when you press the “cloudy-swirly-bubbly thing” button (D6)

1 jellyfish
2 tornado monster
3 shoggoth
4 “lightning spring”
5 bubble dragon
6 yog sothoth gate – whatever goes in it gets thrown out of one of the squirmy pentacles that are on people’s vehicles.

Devolver creature exchanger cannon (roll 3D6 in order)
A: threat level

1-3: animal
4-5: intelligent
6: eldritch monster

B: how does it move?

1. Sessile/drifting – like a jellyfish, anemone, or Yithian
2. Crawling
3. Running
4. Swimming
5. Flying
6. Exotic (teleport, suggestible pallbearers, “always there” in some associative, dream-logic way etc)

C: size of a…

1. mouse -
2. cat
3. sheep
4. man
5. horse/crocodile
6. elephant +

And then you just try to think of something that fits those important characteristics. In the worked example, a pelgrane is: 5 (intelligent), 5: flying, 5: horse-sized.

*What, were you hoping for a random random table table generator?

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