Khiva classifieds

Short Announcements from the Khiva Evening Pipe:

• Mechanics wanted – hydraulics and electrical a must! No Tharks, Dolms, Purples or mercury cases. Mosque/mausoleum of Abu Zaid, market quarter, before noon call. The hawk that dives late must go begging.
• You can’t fight in the big leagues unless you train with the best! I will show you! Lessons for pilots, gunners, dancers, cockroaches. Bring your own mech or use our Practice Simulator. One month course payable in advance. Three Moons passage, Light of the Farishta court, Tanners’ Waqf, Extramuros South.
• Mech pilots – all specialities – will work for share in prizes. They don’t perform, you don’t pay! All negotiations via Turkan the Kashgari, aka Kurgan one-eye, fondaco of the moneylenders, outer court, Palace.
• Missing Children! Find them before the circus leaves town. The sisterhood of Om Bayuda can help. Waqf banu Uda, opposite the Slave Market.
• Reward of 30 silver dirhams offered for information leading to the apprehension of the villains who damaged Dashoghuz Mining Colony and stole its Caterpillar Transport. Payable on successful capture. Bring information to Dashoghuz Ambassade, Outer Ward East, Palace.

• The Company of Bilad Teleta is hiring: guards, foot, cavalry, artillery, scouts. Prior soldiering experience preferred, good health and loyalty absolutely required. Payment up to 48 dirhams/week commensurate with experience, guaranteed by the Khan himself. Ribat al-Theletha (Old Camel Market). Sadly we do not have facilities for Barsoomians or Constructs.
• Dancers, singers and musicians, all colours, even exotics from Rum, Zanj, Hind and the Mashriq. By appointment to the Khan of Kokand and the Illustrious Vizierate of Ulm. Dancing girls, dancing boys to suit all tastes and pockets. Don’t miss our celebrated Line-up of Bones! Imran the Sharqi, Royal Square, Court of the Bailiffs.

• Sufyen Machines and Scrap reports incoming shipment from the Dry Sea Fleet, Salt Flats of Koniye before tomorrow sundown – just in time for the qualifying trials and grand melee! Arrive early for the best opportunities. Buyers and sellers assemble at the registan of the northern Caravanserai when the black kites go up. Touch and test by all means but if you move it off the pallet, you bought it. Abu Sufyen.
• The Worshipful Brotherhood of Fine Carvers will solve your problem. All hand work: no machines, no troublesome messes. No carving job too difficult, distance will affect price and time to completion. Minimum contract 30 leagues from Khiva. Contract terms are final, payment in cash or materiel (conditional on our evaluation) only. Contact through reputable intermediaries only.
• Ahmed’s Reliable Intermediaries. Discretion guaranteed. Mosque of ibn Jubayr every morning except Friday. Courier services available.
• Black Turban Mobile Murderers now taking orders for murders in Bokhara, Varashta, Samarkand and territories. No local, Ashgabad or Urgench targets accepted. Murders guaranteed: no complaints from the living or dead. Find us after evening prayer, Fountain of Bitter Waters, Southwall.
• Pest removal – gremlins, nemeses, dogs, bugs. Murad Esenov, Street of One Hand, pawnbrokers’ cellar. Shout for Murad and have patience!